Where do low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence come from?

self esteem

Origin of self-esteem and lack of self-confidence

Your self-esteem is based on your beliefs about yourself and what kind of person you are. Some beliefs are based on objective facts, such as your age, gender, nationality, etc. Others contain your opinion of yourself based on past experiences. If these experiences were positive, they will be reflected in your beliefs and self-esteem. However, if they were negative, they reflect on your beliefs and negative self-esteem, which then is usually very low.

We come into the world free of fear and therefore build our self-esteem on a clean slate. Our environment and the people around us, therefore, influence how we perceive life, which in turn determines the level of our self-esteem. If for most of our childhood, we feel neglected and rejected by parents who criticize and punish us instead of praising us, we live in a family without warmth and we feel like a fifth wheel in the car, then we feel like little people, which leads to a lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem. 

Let’s sum up, the reasons for low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem can be many. Here are some of them:

  • as a child, your parents often criticized you and rarely praised you, 
  • at school, you received mainly reprimands and teachers stigmatized your mistakes instead of supporting your faith in your own abilities,
  • perhaps you have experienced some unpleasantness from your peers,
  • you were constantly being compared to someone else,  or you were comparing yourself to others,
  • you were or are in a relationship in which your partner continues to convince you that you are not good enough and criticize you too often.

Thus, as a child and young adult, you have accumulated a set of negative beliefs about yourself (“I am weak”, “I am stupid”, “I am clumsy”, or “I am not good enough”). The “conversation” you have with yourself on a regular basis, i.e. the voice that verbalizes your thoughts and speaks in your head. It is the voice of the internal Critic-Saboteur. With this baggage, you then entered your adult life and now negative thinking about the person effectively inhibits you from actions, even if they are beneficial to you in the long run. Every change is sabotaged by your Critic who doesn’t want any, even good, changes in your life. On the blog, I write more about what monster lives in your head and how it keeps you from acting.

Therefore, if:

  • you lack the courage to make changes, although you really want them…
  • you feel tired and more and more often you start to put off tasks for later..
  • Or maybe you don’t have the confidence to ask your boss for a raise or promotion.
  • and you would like to be more assertive, be able to say no, freely express your opinions…
  • or would you like to become immune to the criticism of others…
  • or it is completely different – paradoxically you achieve your goals and have already had many successes, but still you feel not good enough or sometimes even worse than others, 
  • you sense this inconsistency subcutaneously and it has recently started to bother you a lot. 

I invite you to self-assessment coaching so that you can:

  • regain your natural, true self-confidence,
  • significantly  raise your self-esteem  and strengthen your self-esteem,
  • find meaning in your life and  regain motivation to act,
  • get rid of fears and brakes that stop you from acting,
  • move forward in full swing and continue to live a more serene and happy life.

Now imagine that

  • in  just 5 weeks  you will feel a significant  relief,  a sense of peace and strength,
  • you will overcome destructive patterns of thinking and behavior that take you away from your goal and inhibit your development,
  • You’ll have faith in yourself and your talents restored.,
  • you will gain greater attention to your own needs and priorities,
  • you will also regain energy and motivation to act!
  • you will start treating yourself with more respect.

Few words about me

My name is Liliya Korallo and I am a confidence coach in London. I gained my skills at the one-year  Noble Manhattan Coaching School.  I am also certified coach in UK practicing at City Psychological Services, dedicated to working on self-esteem, self-confidence and self-esteem.

For over 20 years I have worked in many industries in various positions. I dealt with e.g. editing and publishing guides, marketing management, products, training, and events, and I was responsible for organizing Brian Tracy’s speeches and workshops in Poland.

Today I help people in increasing their self-esteem, build more self-confidence in them, increase their self-esteem, and creating the life or business they dream about.

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